Destiny

Right now I am much calmer, and very pleased with how well I maintained my composure.... 

When He first walked in, I admired his deep blue button down shirt tucked neatly inside his black slacks. My eyes gazed at his newly bought iPhone, and attached white case, as he placed it on the couch's arm rest. "He's flexing", I thought to myself but dared not utter those words. For the first time we were cordial, a sense of serenity settled the mood. 

His demeanor had changed he exuded confidence, contentment, and a well being from within. An individuality, that I had desperately yearned, a gush of envy imploded from inside. My Ego desired to be heard, but I for one had grown weary of it's antics. So it remained still, and breathed heavily against my neck as it whispered profanities.

As we sat opposite of one another He, with his supervisory posture, and I, hunched over comforting a filthy shirt. I watched hopelessly as he displayed a pride of importance. Hoping, if I'd remain silent his attention won't be distracted from our son's performance. I couldn't resist!   My ego craved attention, and I secretly fed and entertained it. "Why am I still in the same predicament?", a voice echoed from behind. I stealthily shot a look of Blame in his direction. He was to blame for my lack of achievements, he was the reason for my emotional  rampage, and He is why I had reflected on my life, five years later, without satisfaction. Unwilling to muse on my thoughts any longer. "See you later", escaped my lips as he closed the door behind him. Faulting him and the comparison of my life to his only further stagnates an endangered relationship.

My attention then rested on my children, and I wondered if I had chose the correct path. The imperfect path of immense sacrifice, helpless fears, and incessant struggles. However, the Love that thrives inside me planted me here. It manifests itself through my children's laughter, through their joy, through tears, and even fears. I smiled as they slept, and kissed their angelic faces. At that moment I instinctively knew, I had in fact hand selected my Destined path. 

Lemek and Navah, My souls heartbeat and my true loves...